White Trash Crab Dip

Have you ever gone to the movies and wanted your time back? Not your money back, that is really not the point. Who is going to give me my time back? I just spent nearly 3 hours in the worst film that I have seen in a long time. I think that filmmakers should really consider the fact that people, lots of people, are giving up a portion of their valuable time to see their film. The least that they should do is entertain and enlighten. Tonight I was neither. I want my time back.

I often talk about food from my childhood. My mother made a fake crab dip once in a while that I remember liking. It may not have been anything like this one that actually originates with my Kansas raised wife. It reminds me of my childhood and that’s all that counts. Whenever we serve it a parties everyone seems to really like it. Either that or they lick the bottom of the bowl just to be polite.


  • 1 Package Cream Cheese (at room temperature)
  • 1 Package Imitation Crab
  • 1/4 Cup Ketchup
  • 1/2 Mayonaise
  • 3 Green Onions, finely chopped
  • 2 Celery Stalks, finely chopped
  • 1 Shake Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1 Shake Tabasco Sauce
  • Salt and Pepper


  • Mixing Bowl
  • Chef’s Knife
  • Wooden Spoon
  1. In mixing bowl, combine all ingredients.
  2. Salt and pepper to taste.
  3. Refrigerate for at least one hour.
  4. Serve with club or ritz crackers, nothing fancy.

2 comments on “White Trash Crab Dip

  1. Steve Mercer says:

    Sounds weirdly good in a Faulty Towers kind of way.
    More pressingly old bean you must name and shame the film that dragged you into despair lest we add to the running time of missed opportunities.

  2. Steve Mercer says:

    By the way, what the hell do they make Imitation crab (crab sticks in the UK) from?
    Or is it best we don’t ask?

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